Filed under: 80s Week
I have to close out 80s week with the best thing to come out of the 80s. So much good music … I decided to arrange my 80s music post into the top five albums of each year of the decade. Then the top five page (see link, left) will contain my top five albums of the decade.
1980
1. Pink Floyd – The Wall
2. AC/DC – Back in Black
3. Queen – The Game
4. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers – Damn the Torpedoes
5. Billy Joel – Glass Houses
1981
1. Journey – Escape
2. Rush – Moving Pictures
3. The Rolling Stones – Tattoo You
4. Go-Go’s – Beauty and The Beat
5. Styx – Paradise Theater
1982
1. Michael Jackson – Thriller
2. Prince – 1999
3. Violent Femmes – Violent Femmes
4. Duran Duran – Rio
5. Judas Priest – Screaming for Vengeance
1983
1. Van Halen – 1984
2. Def Leppard – Pyromania
3. The Police – Synchronicity
4. Talking Heads – Speaking In Tongues
5. Cyndi Lauper – She’s So Unusual
1984
1. Prince – Purple Rain
2. Metallica – Ride the Lightning
3. Madonna – Like a Virgin
4. Bruce Springsteen – Born in the U.S.A.
5. Wham! – Make it Big
1985
1. Tears for Fears – Songs From The Big Chair
2. LL Cool J – Radio
3. John Cougar Mellencamp – Scarecrow
4. Dire Straits – Brothers In Arms
5. Whitney Houston – Whitney Houston
1986
1. Paul Simon – Graceland
2. Run-D.M.C. – Raising Hell
3. Peter Gabriel – So
4. Van Halen – 5150
5. Metallica – Master of Puppets
1987
1. Guns ‘N’ Roses – Appetite For Destruction
2. U2 – The Joshua Tree
3. George Michael – Faith
4. INXS – Kick
5. Joe Satriani – Surfing With The Alien
1988
1. Public Enemy – It Takes A Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back
2. Metallica – …and Justice for All
3. N.W.A. – Straight Outta Compton
4. R.E.M. – Green
5. Enya – Watermark
1989
1. Beastie Boys – Paul’s Boutique
2. Nine Inch Nails – Pretty Hate Machine
3. Tom Petty – Full Moon Fever
4. De La Soul – 3 Feet High and Rising
5. Red Hot Chili Peppers – Mother’s Milk
Ok that concludes 80s Week at the Empty Arms. What a great decade, I’m glad I grew up in it!
Filed under: 80s Week
The greatest food to gain popularity in the 80s was Nacho Cheese flavored Doritos. For a kid in the 80s, we are talking party in a bag, baby.
80s Recipe:
Nachos For Kids
1 Bag Nacho Cheese Flavored Doritos.
Open bag. Enjoy. For best results, wash down with Pepsi (see below).
The Pepsi v. Coke thing really took off during the 80s. Remeber the Pepsi challenge? The best part of the cola wars was what we all thought was Coke dropping the ball by introducing “New Coke.” I found out later that when they switched back to Coke “Classic,” it was not the original recipe which called for cane sugar as the main ingredient. When the “original formula” was reintroduced, it was reformulated to use high fructose corn syrup (so much cheaper!) as the main ingredient. Because the taste was dramastically (that’s for you, Shannon) different from new Coke, no one noticed the difference, which would likely have been very noticeable if they had just made the switch without the “new Coke interim.” Yeah, it looked like a big mistake, but they more than made up for it by the savings in using high fructose corn syrup. Pretty sly, Coca-cola!
The 80s was a great decade for toys if you were a boy. It was the decade of the action figure — Star Wars, G.I. Joe, He-Man, WWF, etc. It was also a great decade for robots moonlighting as cars, airplanes, guns and/or robotic wildlife. See Transformers, GoBots, Voltron et al. My teenage friends and I all got a real kick out of Garbage Pail Kids. (Potty Scotty was my favorite, but close behind was Up Chuck.) Whistles and wacky wall walkers were also favorite confiscation material for teachers at Brandon Junior High.
Toys geared at girls were less cool — Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Strawberry Shortcake just seem lame to me, but maybe it’s my testosterone talking. The really lame toys were the ones they tried to promote as unisex, like the Cabbage Patch Dolls (Egad. NOT CUTE AT ALL!) or Teddy Ruxpin (just creepy).
One toy that I loved was Mr. Game Show. This guy was a cheesy plastic Wink Martindale wannabe who insulted the family (Nice jacket, dad, who shot the sofa???) and talked in an uber-annoying nasally loud voice. Fun for the whole family.
Tomorrow: 80s Music (The Best Thing About The 80s BY FAR)
Filed under: 80s Week
It’s impossible to say everything that could be said about movies in the 80s. I decided to focus my comments on two particular 80s movie phenomenons, one good, one not so much.
John Hughes
Among this director’s credits in the 80s are Mr. Mom, National Lampoon’s Vacation, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, National Lampoon’s European Vacation, Weird Science, Pretty In Pink, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Some Kind Of Wonderful, Planes Trains & Automobiles, She’s Having a Baby, Uncle Buck and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. When I look back at these movies, I am amazed at how well Hughes captured the essence of the decade. Rarely has a director had his finger so directly on the pulse of American popular culture to be able to create movies that so adequately depict the language, humor, fashion, music and general feeling of what was going on in suburban America during this time period. I know that it’s probably not true for everyone, but when teenagers ask me what the 80s was like, I always tell them to watch The Breakfast Club. I watched one of the recent teen comedies (I really don’t remember which one) and I recognized all the music in it as nostalgic stuff from the 80s and early 90s. That to me is a sign that the filmmaker is going for quick cash and really did not have a clue about what was really going on with teens. If you watch any of the Hughes movies, the music was always current bands on the cutting edge like Oingo Boingo, The Psychadelic Furs, Spandeau Ballet, Simple Minds, Yello, etc. He never had to dip into past decades because he knew what was happening. He got it, and his films represent the period.
Steve Guttenberg
This “actor” not only appeared but got above the title starring roles in Police Academy (and sequels), Cocoon (and sequel), Short Circuit, and Three Men and a Baby (and sequel) before the Hollywood film industry looked at each other and realized that the man can’t act his way out of a paper bag. I’m trying to figure out what secret information he had that he was able to blackmail his way into these roles. The only worse actor I can think of that got that many lead roles is Ben “Daisy Air Rifle” Affleck, but at least Affleck has looks going for him. Yikes, how did that happen??? The Simpson’s offers one possible explanation: In the episode “Homer the Great”, the Stonecutters’ song mentions his name in a rousing drinking song cataloging how they secretly manipulate society in negative ways: “Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star? We do! We do!” and there is an animated version of Guttenberg shown (taking a bow). Nice work, Stonecutters!
Tomorrow: 80s Food and Toys
Filed under: 80s Week
Television in the decadence decade brought us a number of new trends; I will focus on only three.
(1) The insipid family sitcom. Oh, brother. How many of these came out in the 80s? Some had better characters than others, very few had good writing, but, man, they ALL made it onto the air, and I think that they just recycled the situations and jokes. The Cosby Show (better), Diff’rent Strokes (worse), Webster (worse), Family Ties (worse), Growing Pains (worse), Who’s The Boss (worse), Perfect Strangers (worse and yes cousins means family), Alf (egad so much worse), just to name the ones I can think of off the top of my head. Holy crap, how mindless can you get??? My favorite was when the sitcoms tackled the big issues.
“This week, on a very special ALF: The Tanners learn about teen pregnancy.”
Lynn: Mom, Dad, I need to talk. My friend Jamie is pregnant, and she says it happened when she slept over here last month!
Willie/Kate: (In unison, shout) ALF!!!
(2) The nighttime soap opera. These shows’ main contribution to society was making the rest of the world think that all Americans live in mansions, drive Lamborghinis, have lots of sex, and behave like petulant a-holes. Including but not limited to Dallas, Dynasty, Falcon Crest, Knott’s Landing, The Colbys, etc.
(3) The military/police/private investigator action show. These shows are famous for shooting off thousands of rounds of ammunition without hitting anyone, and car/airplane/helicopter crashes where the passengers all walk away with some dust on their clothes and black stuff smeared on their face, but no other serious injury and of course no one ever dies. After all, we need to teach kids that violence is wrong. See, e.g., A-Team, Airwolf, Blue Thunder, Magnum P.I., Miami Vice, Simon & Simon, T.J. Hooker.
Tomorrow: 80s Movies
Filed under: 80s Week
I had a thought between dreams in the middle of the night to have an 80s week on the blog, and to post comments about various stuff that was popular or that I did in the 80s. So every day this week, the Top Five (See link to “The Top Five of Everything” page, left) will involve an 80s subject, and hopefully I won’t just repeat a bunch of stuff that I sublimnally remember from one of VH1’s “I Love The 80s” programs.
Today’s subject: 80s fashion.
Yikes, did we really wear that? I’m trying to think of some fashion statement that we made in the 80s that endured. Mullets? No. High bangs/hair? No. Parachute pants? No. Leg warmers? No. Pegged pants? No. Members Only jackets? No. Jean jackets? For the most part, no, but I understand that the jean jacket craze continues in some parts of Canada and Southern Oregon. The “Miami Vice” look? No. Boat shoes without socks? No (thank goodness). Jellies? No. Seriously, I’m having a really hard time coming up with a single enduring fashion trend in that decade. I just wish I had the foresight to invest large amounts of cash in aquanet in 1981.
Coming up tomorrow: 80s Television.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Two fish were swimming along and ran into a concrete wall. One fish turned to the other and said, “dam!”
Filed under: Uncategorized
Sanjaya Malakar was voted off American Idol. Now, the show gets a little more quality and a lot less interesting. I get why he was voted off, but those are all the same reasons why he should have been voted off WEEKS ago. So, what’s up, America? Why now? My personal opinion is that Sanjaya finally crossed the line. I have this theory that he knew he did not belong among the top twelve and started doing outrageous things do see how ridiculous he could make himself before voting America (read: girls aged 8-13) threw up their hands and said “I can no longer cast a vote for him!” The pony-hawk did not do it. The horrendous singing did not do it. The bawling girl in the audience did not do it. However, when Sanjaya decided to sport his latest look, he borrowed from such a universally ridiculed and looked down upon character that America could not help but direct its vote elsewhere. Ladies and gentlemen, for your consideration, SanjayaTop:
Filed under: Uncategorized
I cannot get over this Virginia Tech thing. The more stuff that is revealed about this guy, the more I think “How in the world did this guy pass a background check for a Glock in March???” I mean, here’s a guy who has been hospitalized as a danger to himself and others, has a history of stalking women, was taught separately by the department head due to his violent and strange writing, and had been investigated by police on a number of occasions. This is EXACTLY the type of person the government should step in and say, “uh, no, sorry, Seung, you don’t get to have an ASSAULT WEAPON. You might, you know, use it against innocent people, based on your history.”
I am also baffled by the “zero tolerance” weapons policies that all these universities are touting as their effort to prevent this thing. HELLO??? People who are going to open fire and commit mass suicides do not care about being expelled from school. This will result in expulsions for carrying a leatherman, while doing nothing to curb the mass availability of high powered assault weapons, which apparently even the mentally unbalanced with violent tendencies can pick up with a one minute background check.
Who’s going to stand up and say enough of the NRA agenda? Who will champion common sense?
Filed under: Uncategorized
I had a goal to update the blog every weekday; that did not last long. Yesterday was busy, though, with heaps of work and the distraction of the Virginia Tech incident keeping my attention. I have some thoughts about that.
I have heard a lot of people talk about campus safety. A laudable goal. But the problem is that people are talking about prophylactic security, which avoids the real issue here. The government has to do something to control the number of high powered semi-automatic assault weapons that are so easily obtainable.
First, spare me all your neo-con second amendment bullcrap. I love to remind people who love to quote the last eleven words of that amendment that the first three words of the second amendment are “A well-regulated”. That means what it says: the federal government has the constiutional right (responsibility, even) to regulate weapons however they see fit to do so, as determined by our elected representatives. Well, it’s time for our elected representatives to get their hands out of the NRA’s pocket and start regulating these type of handguns.
Let’s be clear. We are not talking about hunting guns or even handguns designed for defense. We are talking about assault weapons. These weapons are specifically made for combat, and are the firearms of choice for American criminals. Over 25% of gun crimes involve 9mm assault handguns. (Source: CNN) The fact is, these weapons are just too easy to get. The guy who unloaded on Virginia Tech had his background check finished in a couple of minutes. Ridiculous!
Even the most avid gun lovers that I know admit that the NRA’s position on guns is extreme and not reasonable. Hunters and sports shooters do not need semi-automatic weapons. No one outside the military needs armor-piercing bullets. I understand that some people might want a gun for home protection. But a law abiding citizen who wants a gun to protect his family will not generally object to a thorough background check, taking a gun safety course and registration of the firearm — certainly reasonable regulations within both the spirit and letter of the second amendment.
The worst part about the campus shooting is that the shooter was not even entitled to the protections of the second amendment. He was a resident alien, and should never have had access to these kinds of weapons in the first place. The reason he could obtain them easily and legally is the lack of proper regulations on firearms that has plagued this country for years, due in large part to the NRA pushing their special interest agenda by lining the pockets of politicians. It is everything that is wrong with politics, and its result is devastating.
Here’s hoping that this tragedy will result in some good — that politicians will finally stand up to the NRA’s special interest garbage and put some regulations in place that will strike at the heart of the problem and not merely the “after the fact” measures that our government is so famous for (i.e. airport security). Let’s not blame this on some musician or movie; instead, let’s place blame where it belongs: first, on the shooter himself, second on the manufacturers and retailers of these type of weapons, third, on the special interests that have lined the politician’s pockets with cash, and fourth, on the government which has refused to heavily regulate (despite a constutitional mandate) these type of weapons, which regulation exists in ever other civilized society on the earth. Let’s let common sense back into the equation and do something real to solve it.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
